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Omega Diary & Articles

INVITATION TO JOIN COUNTRY CLUB OF FREEDOM

The following article appeared in Dialogue Magazine.
By G. Paul Grondin

Thank you for your inquiry concerning our incomparable resort known as The Country Club of Freedom where the roads are paved with golden opportunity, where you will never go hungry, where children will never have to dodge bullets on their way to school and where you set the standard and pace for the enrichment of your life. We will be more than willing to give you a temporary membership so you can enjoy and come to know that Freedom is truly a luxury with uncountable benefits for the whole family and is not something that anyone can take for granted.

Disclaimer: Please rest assured that we are in no way associated with the former Republics known as The City-State of Greece and The Roman Empire, which were once referred to as Country Clubs of Freedom. There is no connection since they degenerated into apathetic cesspools of selfishness, greed, lust and…oh yeah…corruption!

Three months later…

Thank you for your letter expressing your enthusiastic and overwhelming desire to become a fulltime and permanent member of The Country Club of Freedom. Yes, we have no prison camps for people who do not like what the government is doing. Yes, you can obtain more education and/or training at any time to provide a better standard of living for your family. Yes, you can go to your children’s school and complain or praise their teachers. You can even teach your children at home. Yes, you can call God or your preferred saviour by the names of Christ, Buddha, Allah, Krishna, I AM THAT I AM, etc. Yes, you can even start-up your own church. Yes, private property is sacred. Well, the list is endless, as you know, since you and your family have been a guest or temporary members for the last three months.

Now, down to our business at hand… the price for fulltime and permanent membership:

Guarantee: And yes, if you are willing to pay the stated price, we will be willing to guarantee that you will enjoy the full benefits of (but not limited to):

  1. Freedom of speech
  2. Freedom of religion (worship)
  3. Freedom of the press
  4. Freedom from want
  5. Freedom from fear
  6. Freedom of assembly (Warning: You can not create a gang, travel around neighbourhoods and perform criminal acts and call it ‘your right of assembly.’)
  7. Freedom to pursue happiness
  8. Freedom to engage in peaceful civil disobedience as dictated by your conscience
  9. Freedom to pursue any personal goal that is lawful (See the Ten Commandments for the laws that are cut in stone. That ‘treat your neighbour as yourself’ thing can be found on the back of the first tablet. These stone tablets are heavy so be careful when turning one over. Also, the small print is on the back of the second tablet.)

Well, the list is very long since these are only the first 9 of 25 items. You know exactly what we are talking about since you have a copy of our beautiful brochure.

The Price:
(Note: This list is intended to serve as a guideline except items #4 and #9.)

  1. Eliminate apathy from your life and encourage your children to do the same.
  2. Eliminate hatred and intolerance of other people, i.e., people who are different than you in skin color and belief systems.
  3. Be willing to defend Our (Your) Country Club of Freedom when it is threatened by tyrants from without and from within.
  4. Vote in all elections, local, regional and national unless you have been run over by a big truck carrying 45,000 lbs of bananas.
  5. Maintain awareness of civic and/or political events.
  6. Get to know the policies of your governmental representatives and agencies.
  7. Let your governmental representatives know when you disagree with their policies and actions that create the laws that surround and influence your everyday life. Remember: silence and/or apathy will always be interpreted as meaning that you approve of what is being done on all levels of government.
  8. Never be willing to think that the other person will keep an eye on the government, while you watch TV.
  9. Be willing to spend an hour per day to fulfill the above. (The 7 hours per week requirement can be performed according to your personal schedule. Miss an hour this week, add an hour next week.)
  10. Vacation time: OK, you will be allowed a two week vacation from Item # 9.
  11. Attend socially and politically concerned group meetings from time to time.
  12. Religion is optional unless you are an arrogant SOB who doesn’t care if you hurt other people. If this is true, then we recommend therapy, but again, you always have free will. (If the SOB part of this applies to you, then reread the small print three times.)
  13. Always yield the right of way, if you want to demonstrate that compassion does exist, and it’s a ‘pretty cool’ thing to have in your life. However, yielding the right of way does not mean that you become a doormat for the uncompassionate.
  14. Once a month write a letter to or call a governmental representative giving him/her your opinion on a current political issue, or write about his/her performance in a general way. There are many variations on this theme. Please see Section 11A, Subsection ii, Paragraph v in the club’s manual.
  15. You should ask for clarification, if you do not understand something.
  16. Teach your children how the government works and to be responsible citizens who know that membership to The Country Club of Freedom is not free.
  17. Ask not what is best for your political party, but ask what is best for our Country Club of Freedom and all of its members. (Always remember that being an American comes before being a Republican, or a Democrat, or an Independent, etc.)
  18. All allegiance is to The Country Club of Freedom and not to any former club membership, known or unknown.

And do not forget to read the small print:

1. Never believe it when someone tells you that freedom is free and comes with zero responsibilities. 2. Be willing to kick yourself in the butt, if you ever entertain the idea that freedom is free even in the remotest sense. 3. If you are silent when confronted by evil, then you have willingly become a part of evil, whether you like it or not. Remember: silence is consent.

Please remember to submit photographs of your family so we can post them along the Stars of Freedom Boulevard.

Warning: Non-participation in club activities will nullify your membership as well as destroy The Country Club of Freedom.

Thank you for your kind consideration in this matter.

Best regards as always…
I remain…God, the Almighty.

PS: Yes, The Country Club of Freedom is a gift from God, but like all gifts such as sunshine, air and water, if you do not take care of it, do not nourish it by ennobling yourself, then it and you will fade as sand in the cosmic hourglass of past, lost and forgotten civilizations.



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